The Omelet
by Super Junk Monkey
Summary: A very short One Shot. Stan finally insists on meeting this so called Natasha that is always making James skip out on his duties. Rated teen for language. R&R Please :3


**Author Notes:**

Okage: Shadow King is © Sony Entertainment. Yay.

A little one shot I decided to write because I didn't feel like doing my homework. :D

It's a little silly, to be honest. It was more something I wrote for fun than for a project of any sort. Enjoy.

* * *

**The Omelet: An Okage One Shot**

Evil King Stanley Hihat Trinidad XVI sat slouched in his run down kitchen. He tilted his chair back and forth slowly with his feet, yawning widely. "Honestly, an evil king such as myself needs to be out causing havoc, not wasting time daydreaming in a one bedroom run down apartment in Madril…"

Coughing, the Shadow Evil King cleared his throat and called his servant

"James…. James…!"

Getting irritated, he stood up suddenly and yelled as loud as his lungs could manage: "JAMES, YOU WORTHLESS SERVANT, APPEAR ALREADY, DAMNIT"

He stood in silence for a few moments, and finally there was a flash of green light and gray head with long pointed horns could be seen, followed by a pinstripe suit, rising out of the ground below. The ghost stretched a little and yawned. "You call?"

"Yes, _I_ called. Where the hell have you been lately!" Stan's face looked livid, and the servant was a little uneasy.

"My apologies, my Evil King, it was just I was up so late last night. Hardly got any sleep at all"

Stan rolled his eyes at this. "First of all, ghosts _don't_ sleep. Nice try on that one."

"Sorry, I was on a date with Natasha."

"Another date with that woman?" Stan pounded a fist on the table suddenly, causing James to jump. "How is it that you have been dating this woman since I was imprisoned in that wicked bottle, yet I have not met this woman _once_." The evil king eyed his servant suspiciously.

"You know, how the hell do I even know this girl even _exists_?"

James just stood silent. He knew that when Stan was on one of his yelling rampages, the best thing to do was shut up and agree with everything he says.

"That does it, you know what, you're going to arrange for _me_ to meet this girlfriend of yours" James flinched at this idea, and then responded to him hesitantly.

"Forgive my intrusion, Master, but I hardly think this is a good idea. I mean, not only is it an entire waste of your time, but…"

"No _buts_, James"

"Very well…." James sighed, "I'll arrange it somehow"

"Wonderful. Now, James, make me an omelet. We'll need to be up on our strength, because after words I have plans to steal all of the nuts at the nearby item shop. I figure if I put all of them under the floorboards at the Heroes Club, I can cause some sort of squirrel problem…"

---

It was later that evening, and Stan stood at the window of his apartment, staring down in loathing at the Heroes Club looming across the street. Contemplating the best way to set the building a flame later that evening, he was shocked when apiece of paper materialized in front of him and flew onto his face. Prying it off he read it as follows:

I spoke to Natasha for you… 

_She will be joining us for breakfast tomorrow morning._

_Please compose yourself, Master._

_PS: I will be unavailable for today's events because I am visiting the slave boy's mother. She is such a charming woman! _

"Humph. Compose myself? He needs to say such a thing to MOI! I swear, that damn ghost…" He ran a hand through his golden hair. "Feh… Well, either way I'm finally getting to the root of his tardiness problem. I've had it with him being late! I've had absolutely no time to practice my powers as an Evil King lately!"

He huffed and slouched down on his couch, regretfully, pulling little threads out of his pillow. "Honestly, James is _my _servant!"

---

Stan awoke the next morning to violent shaking, and the sight he saw when he opened his eyes wasn't very pleasant. And who could blame him, you wouldn't find being woken up by a ghost rather pleasant either, would you? Stan jumped at the sight of James's empty sockets glaring down on him, although he regained his composure rather quickly.

"Sorry to wake you up, but Natasha will be here in one hour. Needless to say you probably want to change before she arrives?"

"How dare you order _me _around! MOI!" Stan looked down at his checkered pajamas and sat up in his bed, rubbing his hand on his scalp. "Honestly, I can take care of myself, arrogant servant! You are almost as bad as my slave!"

Stan brushed James aside with his arm and pushed himself off the side of his bed. "Well? Be gone! I can't change while you are in here staring at my magnificent presence!"

James frowned slightly and left towards the kitchen, and a few moments later the smell of omelets filled the apartment. Stan couldn't help but wonder if omelets was _all_ his servant could make.

Stan walked through the entryway into the kitchen at a five minuets till ten, straightening the cuffs on his shirt and brushing off dirt. Pulling a chair out from the table he slouched down in it (apparently trying to look cool). James sighed as he used a spatula to place the omelets on their respective plates, and set them on the table.

"Natasha should be arriving any moment now, please, compose yourself" James pleaded to his master, but he simply waved the comment aside. "Chill, my servant. It is impossible for a classy gentleman such as myself to not be as such." The Evil King raised his head in a dignified manner. "Besides, it's not like I'm that pig headed woman"

James just simply sniffed and pulled some assorted beverages out of the refrigerator. It wasn't long until the doorbell rang and the empty seat at the table was filled. The girl known as 'Natasha' was apparently a very pretty ghost. In fact, Stan couldn't help but wonder why she would want to go out with 'a hideous nincompoop such as his servant'. She had gorgeous, long black hair, which ran down the length of her back to her knees. (Stan wondered sarcastically to himself how early she had to get up in order to maintain it and how in hell such long hair could be kept looking so smooth and silky… it almost looked unreal) She had a pale complexion and an average height. Her eyes were a lovely emerald color, and her smile was radiant.

However, if you were to ask Stan personally at this very moment he would say the most attractive thing about this ghost was that she had big breasts and a nice, nicely shaped buttocks.

"Ah, welcome Natasha, darling. I'm ever so sorry about the surroundings. I swear, I don't live here myself. This is simply where my employer lives." He turned to make a gesture towards Stan when he realized that, not only had Stan not taken in a word he said, but he had resorted to staring perversely at his girlfriends chest.

James vanished and appeared behind Stan, and said quite audibly: "Would you care for anything to drink, Master? Or you, dear"

Shocked by the sudden noise in his ears, Stan sat up suddenly and looked over at James. "Yeah, apple cider would be fine."

"Orange juice, if you have it" Added Natasha.

"Lovely" James gave the Evil King a glare out of the corner of his eye (pardon, he doesn't have eyes, but if he did that is certainly what he would be doing) and teleported back to the fridge, reaching his arm inside without even opening the door to pull out the orange juice and apple cider containers.

Arriving back at the table, he handed out the beverages before taking his own seat between his girlfriend and his boss. "Natasha, this is my employer, Mr. Stan Trinidad XVI. I run errands for him and stuff, as his assistant."

"My servant" Stan corrected, grudgingly. He pulled his omelet apart with his fork, sheepishly, and tried to see how much Tabasco sauce he could squeeze inside before it would explode.

"So… what exactly do you do? You know, your… err… business…?" Natasha gestured at Stan with her fork and continued to eat.

Flushing a little, Stan cleared his throat. "Well, as an _Evil King_, I suppose there are a great many responsibilities I have to attend to" Stan ran a hand through his golden hair in a pathetic, prince charming sort of way and grinned a little. "I'm responsible for causing chaos and destruction everywhere, and getting rid of those moronic heroes."

He paused and shoved some omelet into his mouth, which was followed by him breathing in his whole glass of apple cider and getting up for more. Afterwards he slumped back down in his chair and continued (James sat expressionless, but never the less would be glaring if he had any eyes): "This particular hero I know, goodness, that pig headed wench! Nothing at all comparable to you, the woman is hideous. I think she resembles a deformed dog I tossed in a sewer a few nights ago…"

James sighed as his master continued to ramble about his mindless adventures with the deformed puppy, and decided to give up and eat in silence.

"That's all… so very interesting." Natasha seemed mildly irritated by the whole conversation, but played along non-the less.

"Of course, you'll want to hear about my adventures as I reached title of The Great Evil King Stan!" Stan stood up at this with enthusiasm. "I used to be but a mere shadow, attached to a stupid little boy." And the Evil King went on to tell about his adventures that preceded his rise to power, eventually arriving to a point later in the story where he started to rant particularly hard. "Oh, and this women we saw, she was an old hag! A can of old rotten pork fat! On top of that, she carried around this ugly pink parasol, and blamed me for her traumatic childhood issues! Stupid, foolish, hero witch! I shall get my revenge on that woman!" Natasha twitched slightly, but said nothing. "Ugh… she makes me SICK."

"You know" interrupted Natasha "Sometimes when people obsess over a person it is a significant sign that they have a crush on them"

Stan flustered and threw a tantrum at this. "Don't be INSANE. I, as a supreme evil being, am above meager relationships with WOMEN. Especially ones that are _ugly_." Stan folded his arms and stood on his chair to show his superiority, and the ghost lady laughed.

"Are you implying you're _gay_"

Stan, taken aback by such a suggestion, took a moment to reply.

"That was just _insulting_" He raised his nose in the air. "I am too good for women _as well_ as men!" He glared across the table at Natasha "especially smart mouthed bitches such as yourself"

At these words, Natasha stood up dramatically and before Stan could open his mouth to say any more he had a face full of omelet.

"James, your employer is a fucking bastard. I've had enough of this insane asylum."

And with that she marched out in a dignified manor.

"James, your girlfriend is a bitch. You go out with her all you want, it's none of my business, but just keep her away from _me_."

---

There was a large cracking noise and James appeared outside the apartment building in the back alleyway. "Magnificent performance. I must say, I really owe you for this… as if I could have really let my Natasha meet him..."

And with that the woman pulled off her black wig, revealing short brown hair.

"Humph. You _bet_ you owe me. I don't know why I agreed to go through with this in the first place!"


End file.
